Post breakup phase evokes bitter and sweet memories, making your life no less than living in the hell. You want to get over every emotion, experience, love, and abuses you have endured in a relationship with your ex but it is not easy to overcome your history. You had to tolerate excessive mental torture when you were living with your previous partner yet still, there are times when you want to go into flashback and relive moments? Do you want to know why you still think about your abusive ex?
1. Once you shared happiness and comfort with your ex
A relationship is like a timeline of good and bad incidents. You remember your ex as a despicable person on earth but you are still thinking of moments when you two had the most amazing time together.
The post breakup phase is depressing, in such times naturally your mind reminisces comforting events that had been part of your previous relationship.
2. Stockholm syndrome could affect you too
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological problem in which a person is sympathetic towards the captor or tormentor. Excessive abuse, either physical or emotional, in the previous relationship by your ex has affected you intensely that you can’t think of leaving them. The continuous torment had made you extremely weak that you still can’t muster enough strength to take control of your life despite the fact that your ex has no dominance over your decisions now.
You had loved your ex so much that even after the torturing phase you tend to think that it was entirely your fault that your relationship has come to an end. In a process of comprehending each situation which has caused damage to your relationship, you are placing blame on yourself that had you been silent in front of your ex you would have been together. That person still holds a special place in your heart therefore you are reasoning with yourself on your ex’s faults and all of this makes you miss him.
4. Your future is uncertain
In a relationship, there are many things that you are dependent on your partner and you don’t have to be worried at all times. When you have to start living in a post breakup life then you have to face almost everything and have to do every single chore that was once not your responsibility. This hits you in stomach and haunts in the night when you have to think about your future.
You are not sure what possibility will strike you or what prospect will help you? The uncertainty makes you afraid of the future.
5. It’s hard to be self-sufficient
In the last point, we have already discussed that you were dependent on your ex and there are things in your life which make you believe that post break phase is not easy to overcome. Despite the abusive relationship, your ex had taken care of many things that you were not even aware of. Now, when everything comes on your shoulder at this point you are realizing that you were better off in that relationship rather than the current circumstance.
But you need to take control of your life and don’t make fuss of things because before meeting your ex, you were independent. Just think about your life before this relationship. If you had survived then without help and support of a single person, you can and will survive now.
6. You remember because it gives you a lesson
It’s a positive thing that you have taken a lesson from your breakup and hope that you will avoid those issues in the future. You want to remember everything because it gives you an approach to live your future relationship without being under dominance or abuse of any kind by your partner. Just make sure that nothing from your past overpowers your future.